The Gift of Lament: Biblical Lessons on Expressing Grief and Seeking Hope

This blog post is based on Episode 5 of Season 12 of the Written Spoken Podcast, “Sing to God: Lament.” You can listen to the episode here or via the link provided at the end of the blog post.

When we think of singing to God, it is likely that we think of songs of thanksgiving, praise, and worship that exalt Him, acknowledge His goodness, and remind us of His faithfulness. Songs of lament may not seem to have a place in the practice of singing to God, but they do, and this truth can be a source of comfort to us.

The truth is, there is no experience of our lives that we cannot bring to God, including through song. The Bible’s songbook, the Psalms, provides evidence of this. Estimates of the percentage of psalms that are laments range from 30 to 40%. Think about it. There are 150 psalms in the Bible so this means 45 to 60 of the 150 psalms are laments. Some of these laments are individual laments (e.g., Psa. 6, 10, 38 and 71). Others are community laments (e.g., Psa. 44, 60, 74, and 77).

What does it mean to lament?
Lori Stanley Roeleveld in her article, “What Does it Mean to Lament? Bible Meaning Explained,” states, “… lament in the Bible is a multifaceted expression of pain that also encompasses elements of faith, hope, and the human condition in relation to the divine. It reflects a complex relationship between believers and God, characterized by honesty, trust, and the constant search for understanding and redemption.” She also notes, “God created us, knows us, and is willing to help us function according to our design. We live in a world marked by sin and death. To help us cope, He’s provided the gift of lament. We are wise to use this loving tool to pass through sorrow to joy” (emphasis added).

What are the purposes served by lamentations?

Roeleveld proposes five purposes lamentations serve:

1. Expression of Grief and Sorrow: “Lamenting is a way for individuals and communities to express deep grief about losses, suffering, or calamities.”  
2. Repentance and Seeking Forgiveness: “Lament often includes elements of confession and repentance, seeking forgiveness from God.”  
3. Crying Out to God in Times of Distress: “Laments frequently appear in the Psalms, where the psalmist cries out to God in times of distress or trouble, seeking help and divine intervention.”
4. A Form of Protest: “Lamenting can also serve as a form of protest, where the lamenter questions God about suffering and injustice. This can be seen as engaging with God and maintaining faith while wrestling with the reality of evil and suffering in the world.”
5. Hope and Trust in God: “Despite their tone of sadness, biblical laments often include a turn toward expressing trust in God and hope for the future. This reflects a deep-seated belief in God’s ultimate justice and mercy.”

An additional purpose of lament is provided by Mark Vrogep in his article, “The 4 Basics of Lament.” He states that lament is a necessary step to begin healing and notes, “Lament enters the complicated space of deep disappointment and lingering hurt. It boldly reaffirms the trustworthiness of God.”

Lament is a gift from God but how do we lament?

What is involved in the practice and process of lamenting? In the article previously referenced, Mark Vrogep highlights four elements of lament:
1. Turn to God – Laments talk to God about pain. He notes, “Confusion, exhaustion, and disappointment can cause us to retreat from the one who knows our sorrows. The poisonous mist of bitterness or anger can sweep in, creating a fog of unbelief or a justification for ungodly behavior. Lament talks to God even if it’s messy. This requires faith. Silence is easier but unhealthy. Lament prays through hardship” (e.g., Psa. 77:1-3).
2. Complain: “Biblical complaint vocalizes circumstances that do not seem to fit with God’s character or his purposes… When it seems that injustice rules the day, lament invites us to talk to God about it. Instead of stuffing our struggles, lament gives us permission to verbalize the tension.” (e.g., Psa. 13:1-2). Vrogep stresses that “Biblical complaining is not venting your sinful anger. It’s merely telling God about your struggles. And the more honest we can be, the sooner we are able to move to the next element.”
3. Ask. “Lament,” Vrogep states, “affirms the applicability of God’s promises by asking again and again for divine help. Repeated requests become hopeful reminders of what God can do. Asking boldly serves to strengthen our resolve to not give up. But it also encourages us to embrace the destination of all lament: a renewal of trust.”
4. Trust: Vrogep notes that, “Confidence in God’s trustworthiness is the destination of all laments. Turning, complaining, and asking lead here.”

Vrogep continues, “Laments help us through suffering by directing our hearts to make the choice—often daily— to trust in God’s purposes hidden behind the pain. In this way, a lament is one of the most theologically informed practices of the Christian life.  Laments lead us through our sorrows so that we can trust God and praise him, (e.g., Psa. 13:5-6). Every lament is designed to become this kind of pathway toward hopeful godliness.”

In her article, 5 Psalms of Lament to Remind Us We Are Not Alone (christianity.com), novelist and journalist, Jessica Brodie notes, “lament is vital because it helps us while we are in the pit of our pain and difficulty. It’s a cry to God, begging or petitioning God to rescue us from our agony … at its core, lamentation is an act of faith, for God is the only One who can do something about our pain. When we lament, we acknowledge that God is everything. In our weakness, we call out to our God knowing He is there” (emphasis added).

Brodie’s words bring to mind lyrics of the hymn, “Does Jesus Care?” Here are the first verse and refrain:
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long?

Refrain:
Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

This is the reason we can lament. Our Savior cares and invites us to “Come boldly to the throne of grace and gives us the promise that we will find mercy and grace to help us in our time of need (Heb. 4:16 KJV). Remember, we can cry out our lament in song. (Click here for a playlist of songs of lament).

Let us pray:
Merciful God, the One who gives us songs in the night (Job 35:10) and who is near the broken hearted (Psa. 34:18), we echo the words of the psalmist from Psalms 61:1-3 (KJV): “Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.”  Thank You for the invitation stated in Hebrews 4:16 and echoed in the hymn, “Come, Ye Disconsolate” we bring our wounded hearts to You. We pour out our anguish, assured that, “Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot heal.” In Jesus’ Name. Amen.